Month three for baby Phoenix came with the discovery of his hands, growth overnight as I put away all of his newborn clothes from one day to the next, lots of cooing and adorable smiles, and active sleep–rolling onto his side and moving all over his bassinet.

He’s fiery and passionate which translates to lots of crying. And although some days are really challenging, we hope and pray his passion will change the world and make it a better place.

The three month mark is a big milestone for this mommy too, as it wraps up the “fourth trimester”. I’m definitely feeling better physically and ready to get back to the things I did before starting IVF/getting preggo.

But here’s the catch, that was more than a year ago. And with the new mom fog starting to wear off, I realize that so much has changed. I have changed. What do I like to do now? What do I want to do next?

I’ve learned so much in the past year and while there is so much to share and create, at the same time it feels like there is not much more to say or do.

So what now?

What do I want for our future?
What will life look like with a full-time job, building this creative business, having a new baby, and being a wife?
Do I need to give something up?
Should I quit my job and find something new?
Should I be a stay at home mom?
Who will really be in my corner?
Do I like where my current relationships stand?
How can I make time to grow new friendships?
How am I going to get back in shape?
Should I just buy new stuff that’ll fit my new mom bod?
What do I have to share that’s valuable?
How will Styld by Grace evolve and grow in this new season?

After talking to a couple of my mom friends, they reassured me that these questions, thoughts, feelings, or whatever you want to call them, are completely normal and that they too have felt the same way after becoming a mom.

The greatest thing about seeing a baby grow is just that. Seeing growth every single day. As they discover the world around them, you rediscover it and learn a new perspective. This month, as Phoenix starts to really become aware of the world around him, I become aware of all the potential and growth that’s ahead. It’s exciting, nerve-wrecking, scary, fun, hope-filled, and a challenge worth pursuing.

To the new mom, the recent graduate, the new wife, or anyone going into a new season: there’s so much more ahead than there is behind. Keep asking yourself the hard questions and keep taking the next best step.