Let me introduce you to my beautiful baby boy Phoenix Palma! He is one month old today and I’m excited to finally share pictures of my sweet boy with you on the blog.

Being a new mom takes a lot of grace and love. For baby AND for yourself. My plan was to set up my blog posts before he arrived but he surprised us by coming a couple weeks before his due date. I never got a chance to document his nursery and still working on sharing his birth story. So stay tuned for those blog posts.

For now, let me share some really cute first month pics and share what it’s really like being a new mom…

1. Sleep deprivation is freakin’ HARD. I have never fallen asleep sitting up until the first week as a mom. Parents are not exaggerating when they say to get ready to be tired all the time. There’s really nothing that compares to this. I was very naive to think that because I’m a night owl I’d be perfectly able to CRUSH night feedings. Nope.

Night time comes and I suddenly feel anxious about how the night will go. And I pray for longer periods of sleep. After a month of this, I’m still really sleepy but somehow getting a slight hang of things.

2. All the feels, alll the time. I never understood why moms spoke of the postpartum period as a time they cried all the time. Weren’t they supposed to be happy to have their baby finally? Especially if you dealt with infertility like we did… how could you feel sad? Well, the first couple of weeks were emotionally really hard for me. I cried over being thankful. I cried over being sad. I cried when baby cried. I just felt every single emotions.

I realized my hormones were getting back to their pre-pregnancy and pre-fertility treatment levels. The best thing I did was to share how I was feeling with trusted loved ones. And not allow shame or guilt to get the best of me. I’m happy to say that I’m starting to feel like myself little by little.

3. I’m not only changing my sons diapers, I’m changing my own too. No one really prepares you for what your body will go through AFTER birth. Postpartum isn’t only about caring for a sweet new baby. It’s also about trying to take care of yourself. Depends and witch hazel wipes have been life savers. But taking time to care for your nether regions can be extra draining and time consuming. And I can’t imagine how tedious it can be for moms who have c-sections.

4. A love like you’ve never felt before. It’s crazy how your mama bear instincts turn on right away. Somehow you know how to carry, feed, and change diapers of your new baby. And you’re constantly worried and making sure they are doing well. I asked my friends that are parents if being a parent meant being worried all the time and they said, “Yup. Welcome to parenthood”. Life as we know it has changed. And we will always think of and worry for and want to help our baby. It’s the best / hardest thing in the world. And it feels like your heart could burst!

5. God is closer than I thought. I’ve prayed more than ever in these past four weeks. And God’s Spirit has enveloped us with his peace, grace, love, and strength. I’ve felt God so close to me. He’s used people to meet our physical needs by cooking for us or sending us food. He’s used people to bring words of encouragement and much needed hugs and love. He’s given me a strength that I didn’t think I had. He keeps teaching me to never underestimate myself because He’s already equipped me for this! I’m so thankful to have Jesus and his people surrounding me for this crazy/awesome journey of motherhood.

And now… some cute and funny facts about baby Phoenix:

He looks just like daddy. But has mommy’s personality. He is a great napper. And loves to lay on mommy and daddy’s chest to sleep. His poop looks like guac and sometimes like honey dijon mustard. He loves to listen to music and calms down when mommy sings. He is growing so fast! His cheeks are getting chubbier by the minute. His parents are in love with him, can’t stop staring and taking pics, and will endure sleepless nights to make sure he is well fed, loved, and nurtured.

Phoenix Palma, we love you bubs! This month has been nothing short of incredible. We are SO looking forward to seeing you grow up. Here’s to many more milestones together!