Confessions of a Newlywed

ConfessionsOfaNewlywed_1000

Marriage is like a mirror; it reveals who you really are.

Growing up as the youngest of four and having my parents to myself for most of my life, I have a tendency to be selfish and self-centered. For a really long time, it was all about me, my needs and my wants. God has been challenging me in this area through different situations and scenarios. I’ve cried, thrown tantrums and been mad at God for it.

God has tested me over and over to break that chain of selfishness in me, but I never imagined that marriage would be my turning point. Now that I am married, there’s no room for selfishness. I can’t be mad over stupid things anymore, I can’t think of myself first, and I can’t complain all the time when things don’t go my way.

I have to admit, the first couple of weeks after our honeymoon were rough. I had to get used to being the one serving and not the one being served. I had to get accustomed to sharing every space in our tiny condo. My bed wasn’t mine, it was ours. The bathroom wasn’t mine, it was ours. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I was tempted to be angry and lash out at my husband for the restless nights I had. Honestly, there were times that I was not a nice person to my husband. Edward was so patient, though. Thank God for a patient and loving husband. He knew I’d get out of my funk.

Seven months into marriage and I am starting to settle into my role as a wife and getting better at being selfless. Marriage isn’t just a paper you sign in order to dress like a princess for a day. It is a calling on your life that only God can anoint you for (1 Corinthians 7:7 MSG). I’m grateful that God chose for me to be a wife, because it has made me a better person. It has taught me that I don’t have to “stand up for my rights” as if they are being taken away from me (1 Cor. 7: 2-6 MSG). Serving others, specifically your spouse, is a high calling, not a degrading or lowly chore. Serving my husband has taught me that God desires us to serve Him and others, uninhibitedly.

“And because He knows where I need to be tested, challenged and stretched, He will not allow me to stay in my comfort zone.” -Chrystal Evans Hurst

My comfort zone is to be selfish. My comfort zone is for me to have the last word. But that’s not how God operates. He wouldn’t be a loving Father if He didn’t test us and challenge us to be the people He designed us to be. He knew I needed to humble myself in order to reach a higher level in Him. He knew what had to be broken in order for me to flourish.

Now I realize why marriage is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the church. It reveals the heart of God and what Christ came to do on earth, and that was to serve and rescue others (Matthew 20: 28). We may not be able to rescue our spouses or those that we give to, but we can serve them and give of ourselves liberally. That’s the kind of person I want to see, when I look in the mirror.

What situation or life change, has God allowed in your life, in order to reveal areas in your life that need to be adjusted or dismantled?

How have the tests and challenges helped you grow spiritually?