July 24, 2019
What a road we have been on the past few months. (Well, really the past 3.5 years. Here’s the whole story in case you haven’t read it yet). Our first IVF cycle started in April and I can’t believe we went through that and are (ALMOST) on the other side.
We have been to countless doctor appointments, lost count of all the injections I’ve had to take, cannot explain the discomfort of each pelvic ultrasound, and the ROLLERCOASTER of emotions we have experienced have been exhausting.
IVF is not easy or simple. I knew what I was getting myself into when I chose to go down this route. I knew my faith would be challenged. I knew my physical strength would be challenged. I knew my relationships would be challenged.
Sometimes I HATE that this is our story. Sometimes I CLEARLY see the blessing. And sometimes I doubt why God would choose us. Why he would think I can endure the pain, grief, happy, and elated moments, which you can experience from one moment to the next with just one simple phone call from a nurse.
I clearly remember a couple nights before our egg retrieval. I was so uncomfortable. My ovaries were so enlarged and I was in physical and emotional pain. I was waiting for results from an MRI and I was so so so scared that the results would be something that would hinder the cycle from moving forward.
That night all I could do was cry. So I got out of bed, went into my closet, put my headphones on, played some worship music and started singing to God. There was nothing else I could do. I had to remind myself that even in this process, God was still God. He was with me and was for me.
Moments like that have happened more than I’d like to admit. Fear, anxiety, worry, and just plain sadness are things I have wrestled with through this process. What I’ve learned through it all is that no matter how long you’ve known Jesus or how deep of a prayer life you have, there are somethings that will rock our faith. It’s battles like these that make you realize just how much you need Jesus. More than you ever thought. And you desperately seek Him because, truly, he’s the only person who can get it.
I believe God doesn’t expect us to have it all together. I believe that he knows when our faith needs to be elevated and expanded. Even though we are unaware of our need, he knows exactly how much we need him. He knows that at times, we will feel defeated. He knows that at times, our faith will need to be encouraged. He knows that at times, we’ll need a good cry. And he actually holds space for us to be exactly who we are in those difficult moments of life.
Do I regret making the choice of doing IVF? NEVER. There may be really bad days but the promise of life and hope is so much greater. God has used this to bless us in ways we thought would never be possible. He has shown us a grace that seems impossible for him to give. We have felt cared for and loved by Him through the people in our life. He has shown his great love and faithfulness for us.
If you’re going through a battle right now, I just want to say I’m sorry you’re facing this difficulty. I won’t say I understand exactly what you’re going through because I don’t. But can I encourage you today with something I’ve learned along my journey with infertility?
Fight your battle with an army of people who can pray for you, uplift you, and let you be yourself. Be sensitive to God’s voice as he tells you who that army of people will be. There are very few people who can get in the nitty gritty of tough battles, but God does provide those relationships if we are open to them. I know it’s hard to let people in when you’re at your weakest, but do it anyway. The right people will stick around and will be used by God to help you through it.
This is my closing encouragement to you and to me: KEEP FIGHTING, FIGHTER! Even on the darkest days, when your hope seems very weak and fragile, and your body and heart are faltering. Keep fighting the good fight of faith. Please don’t give up. God is for you. God is on your side. Let your fight be hinged on his grace, his promises, and his unending love for you.
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This was everything I needed to read today. Thank you.
Wow. I’m so glad to hear that. Praying you have found some hope and extra fight for your journey.
You are so brave and so strong! Thank you for sharing this very hard but real season of your life with us all and using it to encourage. God is already being glorified in you doing just that. I’m going through a very tough season myself and today specifically is a very nerve wrecking day. So your words have encouraged me and reaffirmed me in the truth of who God is in a very timely way. Keep fighting and I’m excited to continue reading about your journey.
I’m so glad this encouraged you today! Thank you for this beautiful message 💕
Thank you Theresa for sharing your heart and for speaking faith into our storm as you boldly face yours. As you said “Fight your battle with an army of people who can pray for you, uplift you, and let you be yourself.” Thank you for being a direct line of encouragement for so many and letting us fight our battles alongside of you through prayer and complete trust in God. We wont stop praying and believing for you both. I needed to be reminded of this today, THANK YOU
My sweet friend! You have been such an encouragement for me in this season. I’m praying for you too. Love you!
Love you too!!!
ah what a precious gift you have shared with us today. So blessed and encouraged to keep fighting through the storms of our lives. We are locked arms with you in praying and fighting this battle right along side of you. We love you sis. My princess warrior. <3
I love you my Mimi 😘💕
This is so beautiful Teresa! You guys are so strong! I pray that God continue giving you the strength you both need to continue walking in this journey! I’m believing with both of you that at the end you guys will get the VICTORY in Jesus Christ !!!
Thank you so much 😘
Wow wow wow. thank you so much for sharing your experience and what God has taught you through this time. I’m believing and praying with you hard. Love you!!!!
Thank you 💕
Keep fighting. Something I’m telling myself as often as I can at the moment. It’ll all be worth it with that positive result!
15 Comments on IVF ONLY – Keep Fighting, Fighter