In recognition of National Infertility Awareness week, I’d like to give honor where honor is due. To my husband, Edward, who was diagnosed with infertility almost a year ago.
He is a rock. He is strong. He is resilient. He is faithful. He is steadfast. He is hopeful. How he’s been able to see the silver lining in all of this is beyond me. But he has no idea how God has used him to increase my faith.
This past weekend, I took a three-hour drive all by myself to attend one of my closest friend’s baby shower. Edward had to work and couldn’t take off. And honestly, I was looking forward to the time alone.
I needed the open road, no distractions. During this alone time, I started telling God how I felt about all this infertility stuff. How I didn’t understand why He couldn’t just heal Edward. How I didn’t understand why Edward. This guy, who has a pure heart, all the intention in the world to take care of his family, can’t have kids easily. WHY?!
The resounding question: WHY?!
I truly felt (kinda still feel) angry for Edward. Yet he is completely full of faith and hope. Despite hearing the worse news any person who desires children can hear, he believes wholeheartedly that God will keep His promise to us.
I’m the one who questions. He’s the one who continually trusts. Anxious versus peaceful. That’s how I’d describe our personalities. It works. And somehow God knew we needed each other.
In that moment of asking God, He quieted my questions with “I knew this would happen, Theresa. I had Edward in mind. I knew he’d meet you. I knew you’d be angry. And he’d be at peace. I knew he would need the fight you bring. And you’d need the calm he brings. I didn’t bring illness to his life. I brought you to him. His helper. The person who would be able to go through this with him”.
What a revelation! I can’t help but cry as I write this. You see, Edward may have been born with infertility issues or it could’ve developed with time. Who knows. But, what I do know is that God didn’t cause this. In fact, before Edward was born, He knew how and when He’d bring about the miracle. And if God chose me to be the vessel to bring about the miracle, then I humbly accept the call.
Now more than ever, I believe that God isn’t in the business of causing pain or affliction. He’s in the business of restoring, providing and giving life. He joins people together and provides the resources needed. Not every miracle looks the same. But it doesn’t make it less of a miracle.
I want to encourage you and let you know that God knows the need, the desire, and the intention, of our hearts. And He will always show up when those things are aligned with His perfect will. Your miracle, our miracle is in the works. He knows. He is working on it. And He may be using you as the vessel for that miracle.
With all my love and appreciation,
Theresa
P.S. I’ll be blogging each day this week in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week. (Did you know it affects 1 in 8 people?!) Some of the posts will be about what’s next in our personal infertility journey, free artwork to encourage those struggling with infertility, and important facts about infertility. Hope you stay tuned!
Perfectly said, my friend! & what a treasure you have in Edward and him in you! Crying as I read it, because I am whole heartedly believing with you & already thanking God! && I love that you are blogging! Love you both so much! With you until the end.
Thanks my friend! Thanks for encouraging me <3
This must have been a really difficult post to write – there’s such emotional release in the process of writing. I wish you well in your journey towards parenthood, hold the faith that you’re in a season of waiting (as difficult as that is).
As a Mum of two after 14 years of infertility I’m keeping faith with you that miracles do happen and your baby is on it’s way. Much love x
Thank you so much Nic <3 You're a hero in my book for continuing to believe for 14 years. Your faith inspires me.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story. With great trial comes great blessing and I say that as a witness to His unfailing love. My friend, I stand in prayer with and for you for every blessing He has prepared for you both. I eagerly await to see our Father show off in your lives . XOXO.
Beautiful Blog Theresa!
Happy to see you release your words…
Finding your other half and knowing that you were meant for one another is more than half the battle won. Everything will come at his due time, and you both will have a beautiful legacy. You will see.! #Godsplan
Praying for you and Edward! May you stay strong and rejoice in the simple things and may he continue to reveal the purpose of your union and it’s power behind it all! Huge hug and kiss!!
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Wow.. actually crying at work as I read this. You both are so faith filled, even if you don’t feel it sometimes. I love the revelation the lord gave you on your drive. cling to that truth, t. love you so much <3
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