Have you ever thought to yourself, “How in the world does she do it ALL”? That girl you wish you were like. She seems to have it all together. Her house is perfect, her hair is perfect, her pictures on Instagram are perfect, her fingernails are always done, etc, etc, etc. After a while, I just want to unfollow her because I feel like I can’t measure up. In reality, the girl we envy is going through the same balancing act we go through every day.
There are days, even weeks when I feel like I dropped the ball at home. I should’ve cleaned more, I should’ve cooked more, I should’ve been more respectful towards my husband. We really don’t get anywhere if all we do is analyze where we fell short. So how can we start getting better at having balance in our life? How can we be great students and still have time for family and friends? How can we be great wives and also make time for our household (without getting cranky)? How can we make time for our girlfriends, for our church, for our hobbies, without neglecting our family? These are all questions I’ve asked myself.
Here’s what I’ve found in my quest for balance:
We can’t do it ALL
I really think it’s a myth when people say that women can do it all. Perhaps we CAN, but should we? There is a time and season for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3). Although we are more than capable to do it all, it’s not always wise to do it all. A good habit to form is to ask God if it is the time and season for something. Balance requires trust in God and surrendering our anxious thoughts of “needing to do it all” to Him.
The girl that seems to have it all together probably chose her schedule wisely. She made priorities, decided what was a need, and removed the excess from her schedule. If you haven’t fixed your house all week, then it’s probably a good idea to clear out your Saturday morning and afternoon to get your house in order. My Monday nights (and some Wednesdays) are spent at church with my husband, so on his day off, Thursday, I make it intentional to not book anything for that day. Saturday mornings while he works, I hang out with friends, clean my home, or run errands. I’ve discovered that in order to have balance, we must decide what our priorities are.
Calendars are our friend
I put everything on my calendar. It may seem funny, but even nights when our favorite basketball team is playing is on my calendar. Because in reality, it’s not about what we are doing, it’s about the meaning and the importance of what we are doing. If it’s quality time with a friend, with a family member, if I’m serving at church, if it’s time to get my place in order, if it’s a priority, then I should treat it like an appointment at work. No excuses, I’m showing up!
Make time for yourself
When we make time to take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to take care of others and our responsibilities. Taking care of myself means spending daily time with God, reading for a bit each day, making something that ignites my creativity, and working out (which I’ve been really bad at lately lol). What about you? What does taking care of yourself look like? Make an effort to pencil that into your calendar.
As women, we have the ability to bring peace and joy into our home like no other person. If we take time to quiet our souls, seek God, and take care of ourselves, we will overflow with discernment and wisdom to have a balanced life.
P.S. Life is messy, sometimes we won’t have perfectly balanced lives. And that’s ok.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-11 (NIV)